Yes You Can - Fostering Independence
Episode 2
Right now I have a two year old who is in the I want to do everything myself phase. He wants to choose what her wears, he’ll try to go into the pantry to get his own meals and refuses to let me put him into his car seat. I have two older boys that are often very reluctant to try things that I know they can do on their own. On today’s show, we will talk about how ways to encourage independence in your child. How much should they be doing for themselves and when are you giving them too much independence.
Guest Information - Courtenay Garver has been a preschool teacher at Discovery Child Development Center in Morrisville/Cary North Carolina since 2011. She had prior experience as a preschool teacher, administrator, and an elementary teacher. She is also the mother of two middle school girls. Importance of Fostering Independence During the Preschool Years
Examples of Independence in a Preschool Classroom
Guest Information - Courtenay Garver has been a preschool teacher at Discovery Child Development Center in Morrisville/Cary North Carolina since 2011. She had prior experience as a preschool teacher, administrator, and an elementary teacher. She is also the mother of two middle school girls. Importance of Fostering Independence During the Preschool Years
- Helps children develop confidence,
- Proud of their abilities
- Helps them become more successful adults who can solve problems
- Great practice making decisions
- Small decisions now, will be bigger decisions later in life
Examples of Independence in a Preschool Classroom
- Students find name tags and choose job for the day ex. Table washer
- Give children a chance to find answers to their questions rather than just doing everything for them
- A healthy struggle is often beneficial for children
- We want them to try new things
- Wake up earlier to allow children more time to complete tasks such as putting on own shoes
- Can have child pick out outfit the night before school
- Parent can use small steps to help children gain independence ex. Put the sock on halfway for the child
- Set up a system so that children can pick out his or her own snack. Ex. have bins with healthy treats they can choose from, or precut fruits that they can select
- Child can put on own backpack and walk into school
- Let child hang up backpack and snack pack
- Praise them for trying to do things on their own
- Offer appropriate support, and when you help explain to your child what you are doing ex. I am lifting the bag over the hook
- We want children to become good decision makers, so we need to allow them opportunities to practice making choices
- Examples of daily choices
- Which 3 books would you like to read before bed?
- Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt to bed?
- Would you like to eat green beans or peas tonight?
- Would you like the night light own or off
- You want the choices to be reasonable, and ones you can accept
- Avoid giving false choices. If you only want a certain answer, it is best not to offer a choice in that instance
- Model the skill first for the child
- If they become frustrated, acknowledge it and see if they can communicate what is frustrating them
- Give them the vocabulary to explain what they are experiencing
- Avoid getting frustrated yourself and just doing the task for them
- Language such as “some people find it helpful” can make some children more receptive to suggestions rather than just telling them to do something a certain way
- If they do not seem developmentally ready for a task, you can have them do a part of the task ex. Child puts his or her child into their jacket and I will help you lift your arms and flip it
- It is important for children to learn there are consequences to decisions
- Next time they can make a different choice
- Small decisions are great learning opportunities ex. Child chooses a flavor of ice cream, but after a few bites wants a different flavor. While it may be easier to avoid a tantrum to get another flavor, it is healthy for children to learn about the consequences of decisions so that they can make good decisions in the future
- Choose 1 thing your child could do to help the family. For example, the child could put napkins on the table at dinner each day
- Create charts for new task with pictures for children – ex. Chart with pictures cues with the steps of brushing teeth
- Self-Care and Chore Cards
- Article - Teaching Your Child to Become Independent With Daily Routines - Article from The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning at Vanderbilt University
- Article from Scholastic - Ages and Stages: Nurturing Young Children's Independence - by Dr. Susan Miller, Ella Booth Church, and Carla Poole
